I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
