oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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