my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
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