So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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