ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
