Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
