now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
