I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
