Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Randomize
