you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Sex in the backyard? Check.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
