The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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