Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
