yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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