I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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