i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
my sisters under your porch take her home
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
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Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
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But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
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