i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'm sobbing to NWA
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
