We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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