You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
We had to coat check the pizza.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
