u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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