Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
