I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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