"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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