No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
