he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
