dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
