I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
