why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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