grandma shit on top of the toilet
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
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