I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize