You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
