After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize