everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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