Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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