thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize