just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
