you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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