Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I wish i was in the wii world.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
