wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
