Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
