He is an equal opportunity slut.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
