its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
where am i from again
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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