I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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