1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
