You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
