she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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