Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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