In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
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