Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
