if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I woke up under a house in Key West
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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