i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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