I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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