your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
