remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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