I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
