People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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