I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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