You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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