i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I need water and some morals
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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