i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
