i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
