Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
We left the knife in your bed.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
